D.A. Henderson

As we edge ever closer to the start of a reality TV star’s presidency, we may pause for a moment to remember an almost-remarkable non-celebrity who also died this year. What did he do? Well, in his own words, “I grabbed smallpox right by its pustule-covered pussy and had non-consensual sex with it until it died.”

Weird question: how many people do you think know his name compared to the names of, say, Taylor Swift or RiRi?

Enough with such stupid, irrelevant questions!

Before the basically worthless, unrememberable Henderson came along, smallpox had killed upwards of half a billion-with-a-“b” people in just the 20th century.

Fortunately, as he was not an entertainer, we need not bother honoring him in any way.

Priorities.

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